In a very successful writing prompt, students described the most embarrassing moment they or a peer had suffered during their years in school. One of my students shared an event in his grammar school where he had pleaded with his teacher to use the restroom. Thinking he was avoiding a test and trying to disrupt class, the novice teacher moved the student to her seat, but children have less control of their bladders than adults. Despite his pleads, the boy accidently relieved himself on her chair. This is just one example of an over-zealous teacher trying to maintain control humiliated a student.
School districts often provide too few bathrooms for overcrowded schools making access to facilities difficult for shy or less aggressive students to complete during class change or recess. Restrooms are often places for bullying and criminal activities (like smoking cigarettes and pot or exchanging alcohol or drugs) making timid students often afraid to use the facilities during class change. Teachers are often insensitive or unaware of the time restraints, the limited facilities and the bathroom activities. As a result, teachers perceive a child's pleading to use the facility as a ruse, an act of defiance or an opportunity to roam the halls. Sometimes, perhaps, it is. However, when a shy student observes the teacher rebuking a request by another student, he or she may feel intimidated to ask; thus, the student suffers both physical and emotional trauma.
Many teachers are unaware of the trauma many middle school girls face with the onset of their first menstrual period. Since the first few yeas of puberty is often characterized with irregular menstrual periods and the first period is always a surprise, girls often do not come equipped. Putting sanitary supplies in the main office may reduce vandalism and thefts, but imagine how intimidating a shy twelve year old feels asking a strange adult in a busy office for a sanitary napkin or a tampon. More than once in my career, have I had a quiet girl sitting in her desk after all of her classmates have left because she is drenched in blood and embarrassed to walk through the crowded halls to the restroom or office. I always kept an old sweater at my desk to tie around a girl's waist and escort her to the office where the secretaries allowed her to sit in the sick room while they called her mother and provided her with the sanitary supplies without destroying her delicate dignity. A bit of advice to teachers in middle schools and high school, make sure you are prepared with a sweater and a bit of assurance for some frightened girl. This needs to be part of teacher preparation because it is part of the reality of schools. Also be aware that boys going through puberty often get unexpected erections whenever they feel stressed. Asking a boy to stand to answer questions could be completely humiliating to him, because even if you don't notice, his classmates will and they will not let him live it down.
Small acts can have big consequences. When I was in junior high, I asked my math teacher for an eraser. He tossed it to me and it landed down my neck and into my bra. Some students (not me) would have been devastated by the accidental basket. If you do make a major faux-pax, apologize. Students know that teachers are human. An unintended action can be easily corrected. If a teacher knowingly humiliates a student, he is not only hurting his intended target, but all of the students in that classroom. Teachers who belittle and demean students should be weeded out by administrators. There is no place in education for anything other than respectful words and actions. Never call students names, degrade them personally or in anyway humiliate them. Students who feel confident and cared for can achieve amazing feats. Furthermore, teachers should be models of how to treat others. Examine your school and your teaching and try to eliminate all of the subtle ways schools and teacher humiliate the most timid among us.
School districts often provide too few bathrooms for overcrowded schools making access to facilities difficult for shy or less aggressive students to complete during class change or recess. Restrooms are often places for bullying and criminal activities (like smoking cigarettes and pot or exchanging alcohol or drugs) making timid students often afraid to use the facilities during class change. Teachers are often insensitive or unaware of the time restraints, the limited facilities and the bathroom activities. As a result, teachers perceive a child's pleading to use the facility as a ruse, an act of defiance or an opportunity to roam the halls. Sometimes, perhaps, it is. However, when a shy student observes the teacher rebuking a request by another student, he or she may feel intimidated to ask; thus, the student suffers both physical and emotional trauma.
Many teachers are unaware of the trauma many middle school girls face with the onset of their first menstrual period. Since the first few yeas of puberty is often characterized with irregular menstrual periods and the first period is always a surprise, girls often do not come equipped. Putting sanitary supplies in the main office may reduce vandalism and thefts, but imagine how intimidating a shy twelve year old feels asking a strange adult in a busy office for a sanitary napkin or a tampon. More than once in my career, have I had a quiet girl sitting in her desk after all of her classmates have left because she is drenched in blood and embarrassed to walk through the crowded halls to the restroom or office. I always kept an old sweater at my desk to tie around a girl's waist and escort her to the office where the secretaries allowed her to sit in the sick room while they called her mother and provided her with the sanitary supplies without destroying her delicate dignity. A bit of advice to teachers in middle schools and high school, make sure you are prepared with a sweater and a bit of assurance for some frightened girl. This needs to be part of teacher preparation because it is part of the reality of schools. Also be aware that boys going through puberty often get unexpected erections whenever they feel stressed. Asking a boy to stand to answer questions could be completely humiliating to him, because even if you don't notice, his classmates will and they will not let him live it down.
Small acts can have big consequences. When I was in junior high, I asked my math teacher for an eraser. He tossed it to me and it landed down my neck and into my bra. Some students (not me) would have been devastated by the accidental basket. If you do make a major faux-pax, apologize. Students know that teachers are human. An unintended action can be easily corrected. If a teacher knowingly humiliates a student, he is not only hurting his intended target, but all of the students in that classroom. Teachers who belittle and demean students should be weeded out by administrators. There is no place in education for anything other than respectful words and actions. Never call students names, degrade them personally or in anyway humiliate them. Students who feel confident and cared for can achieve amazing feats. Furthermore, teachers should be models of how to treat others. Examine your school and your teaching and try to eliminate all of the subtle ways schools and teacher humiliate the most timid among us.
