Flying
Helping Students Soar by Reducing Obstacles:
Ignorance, Fear,
Poverty, Instability and Inattentiveness
By Jill Jenkins
“The
more grounded you are the higher you fly”
Even though I have been retired for
almost five years, I keep contemplating teaching questions like why do some
children soar while others flounder.
I recently finished reading Michelle Obama’s book Becoming. As a child, Michelle was not wealthy or powerful. Her father
worked for the water department in Chicago and suffered from MS. Her mother was
stayed at home until Michelle was in high school. The family did not own a
house, but lived in an upstairs apartment at her great aunt’s house in the
south side of Chicago. Still,
Michelle was well grounded in a loving family who had high expectations for
their children and provided a rich interactive environment. Her great aunt
provided Michelle and her brother with piano lessons, her parents demanded she
and her brother speak correctly, and her grandfather’s home was full of music
and laughter. Michelle’s parents
sent her brother to a Catholic high school and Michelle to a magnet high school
so they could both be challenged intellectually. As a result, both Michelle and her brother qualified and
attended Princeton University. Michelle became an attorney and later a hospital
administrator and her brother did equally as well. As one might expect, both Michelle and her brother
flourished. However, not all children are as well grounded and flight for them
is difficult. Regardless some like Elon Musk and John Rockefeller succeed
despite childhood hardships.
According to Elon Musk in a recent interview on Today Show on NBC, he was bullied at school suffered and from an abusive father. According to the documentary, The
Men Who Built America, John D. Rockefeller, despite having an abusive,
alcoholic father, John became unimaginably successful. What is the recipe to helping a child
become successful?
Students
who are grounded with strong financial backing and parents who provide
emotional support, high academic expectations, a sense of self-discipline and
provide many and varying experiences for their children don’t just fly, they
soar. Students who are grounded
with parent who may not be able to afford every experience for their children,
but provide emotional support, love, discipline, and high academic expectations
still fly high. What about those who do not provide for their children
financially, emotionally and have low or not academic or behavioral
expectations? These students education will be bereft of many experiences that
enhance their learning and they will likely be stagnant. As educators we don’t worry about the
children who are grounded by a strong family love, high expectations for
behavior and academic success, and a variety of enhancement activities in a
rich, supportive environment.
Whatever we do will only help enhance what the parents are doing, but
what about those who do not have this kind of family? First, some parents are ignorant that children need a rich
environment and some lack the resources to provide it. Second, some parents fear change and
fear losing their children. As a
result, they fail to provide resources and activities that the child
needs. Third, some children live
in such dysfunctional families that neither emotional support nor financial
resources are available for the child’s development. Fourth, some students lack the self-discipline to endeavor
through the intricacies needed to a master difficult learning.
Some parents are
either ignorant of the need to provide a rich environment for their children or
are too financially strapped to provide it. Some parents feel that if they have survived with only a
high school diploma or less then their son or daughter certainly doesn’t need
one. One parent told me that he
didn’t care if his son failed my class because it was only English, nothing
that he would ever use in the real world.
The parents are unaware that to achieve in today’s technological world,
students need some post high school education. Many parents fear that their
child would be burdened with too much debt. This is a legitimate fear considering the number of “for
profit” institutions that have buried students in debt without providing them
with a marketable skill. Some parents may want to provide their children with a
rich environment, but can barely keep a roof over their heads and food on the
table. These parents are often working two jobs. For girls the situation is dire. I remember my own father telling me that I didn’t need a
college education because I’d probably get pregnant and never finish college.
My mother told me as young as seventh grade student that boys didn’t like girls
that were too smart. “Boys never make passes at girls wearing glasses.” I wore
glasses and wasn’t interested in that philosophy. Unfortunately, in many communities, discouraging girls from
pursuing an education is still common.
Overcoming this attitude means educating parents and changing the social
norms of the community. Although these students may have the
emotional support to be grounded, their families do not or cannot provide the
rich, interactive life that child needs to reach his/her full potential.
“Despite her fears she found, the secret to
an outstanding
life is risking the fall, for the
possibility of flight.”
Kyra Jackson
Some parents are
afraid of change. It isn’t
uncommon for a child who earns a degree and pursues a career to relocate to
another state. Many families are
spread across the country because rural communities offer few opportunities. My
own daughter moved to New York because careers in journalism in Utah are almost
nonexistent. As a result, some
parents are reluctant to encourage their children to pursue interests that
might require relocation. Fear of failure, fear of losing connection to loved
one and fear of the unknown reduces a child’s flight.
Some students live
in such dysfunctional families that the child is never grounded emotionally or
financially. The Showtime
television show Shameless
depicts such a family where an alcoholic/drug addicted single father raises a
family leaving the real parenting to the oldest daughter. As a teacher I often saw similar
families. One of my former
students was a sixteen-year-old boy financially and emotionally supporting four
younger siblings because his parents were incarcerated. These children are so
overwhelmed that it is unlikely they will succeed. When an adult assumed responsibility for these children,
they were able to succeed and sometimes soar. For example another of my students was left orphaned when
both of her parents died from AIDS, but luckily her godmother materialized and
moved her from Puerto Rico to California.
Another student who drug addicted mother disappeared and with the help
of an aunt, the three children were reunited with their biological father who
provided a home, emotional support and a rich environment for them. Sometimes the school needs to identify
these students and connect them with the resources for a positive adult to help
them.
“I was once told that flying involves long
house of boredom, interrupted by
moments of extreme fright.”
Franklin
W. Dixon
Grit is a
necessary component of success. Unfortunately, immediate gratification is the
common denominated for many of today’s youth. Television, video games and the Internet
have significantly reduced students’ attention spans until many students jump
to a new topic if they find learning tedious. According to Thomas Edison, “Genius is 1% inspiration and
99% perspiration.” To help students succeed educators have to help students
learn self-discipline and develop longer attention spans. Teachers are not just there to
entertain, but to help students develop life-long skills to become
successful.
Instead
of closing schools that do not achieve on tests, districts and schools need to
analyze why the students are not achieving. Class size should be reduced to allow teachers to provide
emotional support for their students.
Schools should provide a variety of interactive learning experiences
including field trips, arts education, music, art and theater lessons,
journalism and filmmaking classes. Students should participate in sports and socially
interact in positive ways. They need to eliminate educators or are not supporting
students’ emotional needs, maintaining high academic and behavioral standards
and expectations for students.
Schools need to offer opportunities to expand their experience and
counsel both students and parents about how to get the financial and
experiences resources to enhance their education. Whatever the child needs to
be successful: art, science or just the belief that they can succeed. Despite the few shooting stars like Elon
Musk and John D Rockefeller who succeeded despite hardships, educators should
do all they can do; so all students can “be
all they can be.”
